How to stop a relationship with a very nice lady politely

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kevin
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How to stop a relationship with a very nice lady politely

Postby kevin » Sun Apr 22, 2012 2:28 am

I have been writing to two women in China they both could very well be the one, but the relationships are starting to turn serious. I am unable to travel to China this due to being swindled by a woman from another site. By the time that I can travel to China I believe that things would be very very serious with both of Ladies if I were to continue to write to them as I have been. I have doing some very hard thinking and i reached the conculsion that I would be truely doing one of these lady a disservice if I was to continue, that one of them will be greatly hurt and possiblely loseface if I do not ended with one of them now. Does any know how i can polite tell one that I think that she is not totally to one for me so that I can minimize he hurt and losing face problems that may occur. Is there some way in the Chinese culture to say that I am no longer interested a this time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am a very nice guy. And I have never been in this position before. I was always the one on the receiving end in the past. thank you for all your help

Rob
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Re: How to stop a relationship with a very nice lady politel

Postby Rob » Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:18 am

No graceful way to do this...but just be honest with her....and she will probably feel like you have felt before....when you were on the receiving end.

Mike
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Re: How to stop a relationship with a very nice lady politel

Postby Mike » Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:16 am

Kevin, have to say its refreshing to hear about a guy that is concerned about doing the right thing .
Just be honest with her. She'll be upset of course but your honesty will give her face, and she'll respect that if you do it with diplomacy and honesty.
You should do it sooner rather than later, if one of these ladies has no future with you - you need to let her move on and find another guy that might be a better match for her, especially if you care for her. Set her free,,even if she doesn't feel good about it initially, its the right thing to do for you both.

Michael
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Re: How to stop a relationship with a very nice lady politel

Postby Michael » Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:28 am

Kevin there is no easy way to do this. Treat it like taking off of bandaid yet gradually start to pull it off a little at a time. Casually mention little hints that build up to I think we should just be friends. It sucks but it has to be done. The longer you put it off the more hurt she'll be in the long run. They all know they are competing against one another, should not be a shock to her. Be honest and she'll have respect for being a man about it.


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